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Week 3 Writing Assignment: Describing a Scene

PaletteWeek 3 writing assignment is a little bit challenging. We are going to use what we have learned until now to write a descriptive paragraph putting in mind some criteria that are shown below:

Drawing from your observation notes and sentences from Journal Writing Assignments 1 and 2, write a description of the scene you have observed. Use action verbs and active voice in your sentences. Also, keep your verbs in the same tense and maintain correct subject-verb agreement. Your description should consist of 8 or more sentences.

The Assignment Rubric:

Heidi Goodrich defines the rubric as “a scoring tool that lists the criteria for a piece of work or what counts”. Rubrics help learners figure out how their work will be evaluated and what can be put in mind when working on their assignments. Click the link below to view this assignment rubric:

Here is my Paragraph:

Holding HandsShe, a teacher of English in a high school, quickly walks down a long way to arrive her work so early. Unfortunately, the road seems so busy this morning. Oh! It is the market’s day of her village. While trying to find her way, two kids briskly squeeze between people waving to her to follow their steps. They suddenly disappear in the crowd, however, she still hears their beautiful voices singing a beautiful chant. Bitterly loud cries coming from the other side of the road break these sweet moments. It is a little girl trying to cross the road, but those drivers who set a competition ignore all her shouts. When the eyes meet, the little girl quickly wipes her tears and draws a lovely smile on her weepy face. Holding their hands together, they go on walking and talking when suddenly she slips away her little soft fingers saying, “Good Bye”. Looking deeply at her baby face, the teacher whispers, “Happy moments don’t last so long”.

Reflections:

I don’t give up easily, but what I noticed is that I can write academically very well. I mean a research paper, a journal article or a blog post. Writing creatively seems not my style of writing. It really needs some gifted skills that not all people have. I always keep saying to my students that creative writing can be taught. Following this course, I find it difficult to develop or improve this creativity. To be an effective writer needs more efforts and time. At the same time, I feel I have a great desire to write and write. So, what is wrong with my writing these days? I think that’s because I focus more on accuracy rather than content. I prefer to use the Process Approach to teach writing in my classes. Students start with ideas and ends with a close study of grammar and punctuation mechanics. Studying the rubric carefully, I noticed that it follows that Product Approach where students concern with the final product of writing, and what that product should “look” like. Creativity needs more processes of brainstorming, drafting, revising and at last editing. This rubric should include something about ideas as well. 

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Week 3 JW Two: Adding More to the Scene

Finishing the reading material about verbs, it is time to write another post:

Continue your observation list of the scene you observed for Unit 3, Journal Assignment 1 by noting several vivid action verbs. Revise some of your sentences using action verbs and/or write 2-3 new sentences with action verbs. Try not to use any of the forms of “to be” (is, are, was, etc.).  Underline the action verbs in your sentences. Again, you will want to keep all of these sentences at hand as you do the peer reviewed writing at the end of the unit.

I try to look at my previous list, and underline the action verbs:

  1. Mom is waving out of the balcony wishing me a good day.
  2. The two kids are holding their little hands together and signing a sweet song.
  3. A little girl, carrying a heavy bag on her back, is bitterly crying.
  4. I think she wants to cross the road.
  5. Workers gather in groups to take a taxi.
  6. Drivers set a competition ignoring all the screams and shouts of people around.
  7. Everyone in the street seems so busy.
  8. Those two high school boys are crazily riding their bicycles.
  9. Her lovely smile is still stuck in my mind.

Some new sentences with more action verbs:

  1. The little kids stopped singing and chased a small dog trying to pull its tail.
  2. Workers waited long for this day.
  3. The little girl loudly laughed when the two boys fell off their bicycles.

Although this activity is valuable because it raises my awareness to a certain part of speech (e.g., action verbs … ), writing the whole description of the scene previously selected needs more verbs and other vocabulary. If I stick to these actions, it impedes my creativity. I spent much time to write these simple sentences. I don’t know why? On the other hand, I find it so easy when I respond to the forum threads and discuss topics with my colleagues. I guess thinking too much about what I’m going to write stifles my fluency of writing as my friend Debbie said in one of her comments here.

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Week 3 JW One: A Scene to Observe!

I started week 3 a little bit late because I had another final assignment in another online course about Statistics. I have just finished the peer review process and waiting for my peers’ score. Although the course was challenging, I enjoyed it so much and that final assignment helped me a lot to apply all what I have learned during the past eight weeks.

Shifting to Crafting an Effective Writer: Tools of the Trade, I’m trying to catch up all what is required; discussing the question about peer learning, watching videos, reading materials bout subjects, verbs and punctuation, and posting writing activities here in my blog. The first writing journal of week 3 seems so enjoyable. It is about observing a scene and listing the activities that are happening and the doers who are doing them:

Observe a scene, preferably in a crowded, busy, or public place. List the activities that you see occurring and the actors (those doing the activity). Write 5-6 sentences that use your observation list and underline the subjects of your sentences. Write a few sentences experimenting with using different types of pronouns from the tables in Unit 3.  You will want to keep all of these sentences at hand as you do the writing activities for this unit.

The Scene Selected:

People going to work!The first crazy hour when people go to their work between 7:30 – 8: 30 A.M.

(My Village “Edfa” in Sohag City, Egypt)

Activities that are occurring in the scene selected above:

  • walking, running, calling out, talking, yawing, carrying, waving, shouting, waiting, driving, singing, looking, holding, riding, standing, crossing, crying, smiling, giving … many more.

Doers who are doing the activities above: 

  • Mom, two kids, little girl, I, she, high school boys, my friend, workers in groups, my colleagues, drivers, and others whom I don’t know, but involve in the scene.

Here are my sentences using the observation list above:

  1. Mom is waving out of the balcony wishing me a good day.
  2. The two kids are holding their little hands together and singing a sweet song.
  3. A little girl, carrying a heavy bag on her back, is bitterly crying.
  4. I think she wants to cross the road.
  5. Workers gather in groups to take a taxi.
  6. Drivers set a competition ignoring all the screams and shouts of people around.

More sentences using other different types of pronouns:

  1. Everyone in the street seems so busy.
  2. Those two high school boys are crazily riding their bicycles.
  3. Her smile is still stuck in my mind.
  4. They are in a hurry.
  5. [You] “Take care of yourself”, I shouted.
  6. What will happen if I arrive my school so late?

I hope I am on the right track. I tried so hard to do what is required correctly. However, I’m not satisfied with my answers. Imagining a scene and talking about what is happening is really enjoyable activity, but it needs more talents. From my point of view, it is a creative piece of writing. In the forums’ discussion, there are some people who object to the title of the course. They prefer “Basic Grammar” to “Basic Writing” Course. The course activities may seem a little bit grammar-based, but the unit of any paragraph is simply the sentence. How I can write a very good paragraph if I don’t know what the sentence is. I think that knowing the sentence and its parts very well definitely leads to a good piece of writing. I’m still excited about this course and where it will take us.