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Week 4 Writing Assignment: Putting all Tricks Together!

Reverso

Week 4 writing assignment was about collecting all the parts of speech that we learned throughout the 3 past weeks and using them to construct a paragraph of 9-12 sentences describing a scene in nature. It was not an easy job to do. Really, it took a lot of time drafting, redrafting, revising and editing. The last step was to put aside this paragraph for a while and then read it again to catch mistakes. I also used the Reverso Speller and Grammar Checker to double check the final draft.

Drawing from your observation notes and sentences from Journal Writing Assignments 1 and 2 describe a natural object or scene in nature. Use at least one each of the clauses and phrases you studied in the unit. Also, be sure that you include one each of the four sentence types in your description. Using your knowledge from Unit 3, use action verbs and active voice, keep your verbs in the same tense, and maintain correct subject-verb agreement. Your description should consist of 9-12 sentences.

Week 4 Writing Assignment Rubric:

Here is my Assignment:

natural scene image (7)

Retrieved June 8, 2013 from here

Leaning on the trunk of an old fallen tree in my grandmother’s lifeless garden, my eyes quickly went into a deep slumber after a long day of work. I woke up to the lovely sounds of birds singing and spinning over my head. Rubbing my sleepy eyes, I saw an incredibly charming scene with no human touch: crystal sea water, bright blue sky, colorful birds and a large grassy meadow all around. The waves lapped the seashore gently sending a cool breeze towards me to smell. I kept breathing deeply filling my lungs before it blew away with the wind. Looking around, I found them, blushing red flowers proudly stood, and gently swayed to the sea song. If I were a bee, I would spend the whole day buzzing around, just smelling their sweet fragrance, heavy in the air. The first rays of the sun, which were so white, slowly shone down upon the crystal-clear sea water creating a breathtaking landscape with delightful colors of the rainbow. Two dolphins graciously jumped out of the water making a big splash to say hello and celebrate my arrival. My eyes deeply closed, I tried to lustily hug this magnificent scene, when my 80-year-old grandma’s croaky deep voice sent me back to where I was on the other side of the sight. Although it lasted a few moments, this dream stuck in my mind simply because it carried unforgettable memories in my life.

Analysis of the Assignment:

  1. Number of sentences: 11
  2. Adjective Clauses: which were so white; where I was.
  3. Adverb Clauses: If I were a bee, I would spend the whole day buzzing around, just smelling their sweet fragrance, heavy in the air; I kept breathing deeply filling my lungs before it blew away with the wind.
  4. Noun Phrases: over my head; with the wind; upon the crystal-clear sea water; on the other side of the sight (prepositional phrases), my eyes deeply closed (Absolute phrase).
  5. Verb Phrases: Leaning on the trunk of an old fallen tree in my grandmother’s lifeless garden; Rubbing my sleepy eyes (Adverbial present participle phrases), to say hello (Infinitive phrase)
  6. Active verbs: leaning on, went into, singing, spinning, rubbing, saw, lapped, sending, smell, kept, blew away, looking around, found, stood, swayed, spend, buzzing, smelling, shone down, creating, say, jumped out, closed, tried, hug, and sent back.
  7. Consistent tense: Simple past tense
  8. Types of sentences: I woke up to the lovely sounds of birds; I saw an incredibly charming scene with no human touch (Simple sentences), blushing red flowers proudly stood, and gently swayed to the sea song (Compound sentence), If I were a bee, I would spend the whole day buzzing around, just smelling their sweet fragrance, heavy in the air; I kept breathing deeply filling my lungs before it blew away with the wind (Complex sentences), Although it lasted a few moments, this dream stuck in my mind simply because it carried unforgettable memories in my life (compound-complex sentence).

Reflections:

To complete this assignment, it required me to deeply dig into my vocabulary in order to find suitable and proper words to describe the set scene. As I said before one of my poor points is the lack of a rich vocabulary base that enables me to find what I want easily to express my ideas more smoothly.  Although I spent much time doing it, I was not satisfied with the final product. This surprising week helped me a lot to identify the reason. Discussing the main question about writing styles with my peers in the forums, I found that I have a Teacher (i.e., expository) and Activist (i.e., persuasive) writing styles. Actually, I’m good at writing explanations for others. I also love to start arguments and try to persuade others with my ideas. This explains why my descriptive and narrative writings are not creative and rich. I feel so relieved now! However, this doesn’t mean I can’t write descriptions or stories. I only need to learn and practice more to improve these potential abilities.

I hope to be on the right track!

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Week 4 JW One: Use Clauses and Phrases … To Elaborate

Clauses and Phrases Although clauses and phrases are just a group of related words, they add more to one’s writings. As it was mentioned somewhere in the reading materials, using such clauses and phrases constitute one’s writing style. Before this course, I thought that being clear and short makes a successful writer. This can be a criterion for best writings; however, elaboration is also needed. The first journal writing in week 4 helps me extend and enrich my sentences using adjective and adverbial clauses.

In your writing journal, begin to practice building sentences with adjective and adverbial clauses. As in Unit 3, you may find it helpful to be observing a scene in nature while you compose sentences. Using the lists associated with each of these types of clauses, write at least three (3) sentences including adjective clauses and three (3) sentences including adverbial clauses. Underline the adjective and adverbial clauses. Consider their function in both as a modifier and an aspect of your writing style.

Selected Scene:

  • No particular scenes!

Sentences including Adjective Clauses:

  1. Debbie, who is my best friend from Argentina, needs my help to create a wiki.
  2. Google+, which is like Facebook, has become a powerful tool for connecting.
  3. I’m thinking of an island where I can find no human touches.
  4. I never forget the day when I received my first prize.

Sentences including Adverbial Clauses:

  1. Although I don’t like my writings, I never give up.
  2. Unless I keep posting, I won’t be a good writer.
  3. I prefer to listen to a podcast rather than reading instructions.
  4. I can’t stop once I start writing.

As you see in the sentences above, using these clauses can add more to a piece of writing. Instead of expressing ideas so shortly, we can add more details to make them clearer and better for understanding, or complete the whole picture. Let’s see what can phrases also do?